Thursday, November 26, 2020

Joe Biden Taking Cues from the Cobra Commander?

Over the past few weeks, my two young boys have really taken a liking to my old G.I. Joe toys that I played with way back when I was a kid in the 80’s. Remember that patriotic tune “G.I. Joe, A real American Hero!” Well over thirty years later, those cartoons and action figures still strike a chord with the instincts of young boys. I have to admit, it’s a lot of fun to reminisce on the memories I had with those toys and eagerly waiting each week for the next episode to air on a Thursday (or whatever day it was). Back in the day, if you missed it – you missed it. Unless of course, your dad was vigilant enough to set the living room VCR to record the episode for you… right next to the part of the tape where he previously recorded Eye On L.A. with Chuck Henry or This Old House on PBS.

Nowadays, you can binge all seven volumes of the G.I. Joe cartoon on Amazon for $19.99 per season. So far we’re up to volume four. While watching every single episode in strict succession, besides getting the general entertainment out of it, I noticed some correlations begin to develop in my mind.

It took me a few episodes to sort my thoughts through the fog of daily life and general exhaustion, but by the time episode three | volume four streamed before my eyes, it hit me. The self-proclaimed president-elect Joe Biden bears striking similarities to the Cobra Commander!

Now let’s not get ahead of ourselves here. I’m not talking about physical similarities, although we never know what the Cobra Commander really looks like under that mirrored face shield. The only thing we can say for sure is that he’s white. So is Joe. So you can go ahead and check that box off if you want. But one thing’s for sure… Cobra Commander is one buff dude, knows how to use a gun and doesn’t appear to be needing a cane to walk any time soon.

Yet that’s where the differences end. We always say actions speak louder than words, so consider the following points matching Joe Biden and the Cobra Commander:

  • He wears a mask all the time and forces everyone around him to wear one too.
  • He’s actually quite stupid, and while none of his cohorts respect him he still somehow found himself to be the one in power.

  • In every single episode, he’s blowing through millions and millions of someone else’s dollars (typically financed by Tomax and Xamot, or in Joe’s case the US tax payer and the Federal Reserve printing press) on ridiculous plots to increase his power and influence that never pan out.
  • Has an army of shock troops that he sends out to do his dirty work, yet he himself says are “foolish and of weak constitution”. They always wear masks too.

  • Like Kamala Harris, his #2 the Baroness is oozing of wickedness and is a master of disguise and deception. Plus she holds him in contempt in every single episode… Can’t forget that one.
  • And finally, every time something goes right, he takes credit for it.  Every time something goes not so right, he blames everybody else.
So yeah, I'm just sayin'... 

There are likely other examples, but I’ll leave that up to whoever wants to throw hate mail at me after this one. And by the way, if you’re offended by this do everyone around you a favor and stop being such a cry baby.  If you get mad at this little blog post, you've got bigger problems in your life, dude.

Oh, one more thing. All these images are the property of whoever owns G.I. Joe. Hope that’s good enough for the lawyers with a hair up their…